I realized the other day that I need to find more pleasure in my every day life. In a normal day I really don’t do anything that makes me feel good/happy. I’m only doing things that I think I need to do. I should pause more and enjoy whatever I’m doing: warm shower, beautiful weather, tasty food, etc.
I think the flip side of that is that I have some kind of dopamine deficiency. Maybe this is why I don’t enjoy things that other find intrinsically pleasurable: spending time with other humans, eating (I definitely have a drive to eat, just like I do to sleep and breath, but I don’t think I enjoy it like some other people do. Never had too much of a problem restricting certain foods. I don’t find sugar rewarding and pleasurable). I love things that chemically induce my brain to release more dopamine: coffee, alcohol, certain drugs. I always thought I like alcohol because of the disinhibition, but maybe what I really liked was the dopamine.
Or maybe what I liked at first was the disinhibition (why I never drank alone), but now it’s more for the dopamine (having a few glasses of wine after work).
I bet if I could get on a combination of metformin and ritalin I would be effortlessly thin.